i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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