Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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