We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
