Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
