Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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