Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
