So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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