4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
