Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
