nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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