Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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