so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
