I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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