Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
