So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
