You work out of a Hotel?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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