oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
