ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
