idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
