Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
