It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
