This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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