before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
