Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
