you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
