Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I want her autograph on my taint
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
