so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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