erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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