So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
