Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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