I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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