The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
