I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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