i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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