and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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