Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
