After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
