I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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