Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
