how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
