absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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