i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
