his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
