Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
