Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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