tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
