Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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