Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
