my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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