it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
